Read

(Don’t) Call me Crazy

Monthly Project- October 2019

The book I chose to read for my mental health theme this month was (Don’t) Call me Crazy: 33 Voices Start the Conversation about Mental Health, edited by Kelly Jenson. What initially drew me to the book was the variety of authors and the diversity of their experiences, woven with a common thread. I was also interested because it is marketed as a young adult book, and I am always on the quest for accessible and relatable material about important topics that affect our young people. (Don’t) Call me Crazy features excerpts from well-known celebrities such as Kristen Bell and Nancy Kerrigan, as well as from lesser-known artists and writers.

I believe listening to someone’s personal narrative is one of the most powerful catalysts for empathy, especially in terms of mental health. With such a broad and misunderstood topic, listening to someone’s personal experience with mental illness helps us to understand the enormity of this disease. This book does that well. The essays are personal, vulnerable, and sometimes hard to read. But please read them. They are about people’s lives and they are important.

Jensen compiled essays from accomplished figures who come from a variety of backgrounds and have been affected by mental illness in different capacities. One powerful essay was written by a former Marine suffering from PTSD, a story of vulnerability and strength that we need to hear more often. An actor shared his battle with body dysmorphia, and the pain from ensuing plastic surgeries that he became addicted to. There are essays about struggles (and triumphs!) with bipolar disorder, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, OCD, and more.

I really appreciate that Jensen included stories from people with diverse backgrounds and upbringings. Our identity and how we feel we belong in the world will impact how our mental illness is perceived and the type of care we will receive (if we receive treatment at all). I read this book a few weeks ago now and while I think all of the essays are equally as powerful, one has stuck with me the most. Meredith Russo bravely writes about her time in a psychiatric ward to treat severe depression and hypomania. Russo is trans and nurses and doctors kept using the wrong pronouns and calling her by her dead name (name given at birth). They refused to give her a razor to shave her face, and as the days went by she suffered more, frequently experiencing suicidal ideation. Finally an administrator at the hospital steps in and ensures Russo is properly cared for. Slowly, with the right care and therapy, Russo is strong enough to go home. What hit me the hardest was that in a time of crisis, Russo’s caretakers were not respecting her humanity and causing her a great deal of pain. My heart wrenched for her reading that essay.

The essays in this book are honest, sometimes upsetting, but they are real, and they are also full of hope. The common theme is clear- everyone feels better once they seek treatment. Everyone feels better when they are treated with dignity and respect, and able to live their lives in the way that suits them best. One essay states that there IS no normal. No one brain or perspective or experience is the same. Our sensitivities and challenges are part of what makes us US. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the book by actress Lisa Jakub. I like it so much because I SO relate to it, and it’s a good reminder for me and for us all:

“It took me a long time, but I finally understood that all the things I felt I needed to hide were actually my superpowers. My sensitivity was something to be proud of. The fact that I feel things so deeply means I’m compassionate. I care. I’m engaged and alive and invested in the world…When I learned to accept the things that I was ashamed of and worked with them instead of constantly fighting against them- I could do anything. – pg. 155

Friend, I encourage you to read these essays. Beyond that, I encourage you to listen. Listen to your friends and strangers experiences with mental illness. Listen to the way mental illness is talked about (or ignored) on TV, in the lunchroom, on Capitol Hill. Together we can make the world a more understanding and empathetic place.

Thoughts on Lindy West’s “Shrill”

Spoiler Alert- I loved it

I received “Shrill” for Christmas 2016, the year this memoir was published. I knew I would love it, but so little time and so many books, right? I just read it a week ago, and I OBVIOUSLY did love it. I have been a fan of Lindy West’s for several years, since she was writing at “Jezebel.” (To be honest, I stopped reading it regularly after she and a couple other writers left.) West is my favorite kind of feminist writer, reminding me of the likes of Roxane Gay and Jessica Valenti. She is able to write about serious topics of inequality with humor, a take no shit attitude, and yet conveys warmth and tenderness.

As a fat feminist who writes openly about abortion, fatphobia, rape jokes, and other WILDLY POPULAR topics, West has had no shortage of online trolls. In “Shrill,” West writes about all of the above topics, as well as her experiences with trolls. If you didn’t think misogyny ran rampant in online comments before (I envy you?), you definitely will think again after reading this book. So I’m not going to do a classic book review or analysis here. My analysis is: it’s good, you’ll learn, you’ll laugh a lot and possibly cry a little, please read it. Instead, I am going to share a few of my favorite passages, and expand on those a little.

On fatness and fatphobia:

“I wasn’t unnatural after all; the cultural attitude that taught me so was the real abomination. My body, I realized, was an opportunity. It was political. It moved the world just by existing. What a gift.”- pg. 79

“You can’t fix a problem by targeting its victims…The only answer is to decide we’re worth helping.”- pg. 148

I definitely found myself questioning some of my own internalized biases against fat bodies while reading West’s experiences with fatphobia. As someone who has always had thin privilege, I can’t begin to know what it’s like to be constantly stigmatized and judged so openly. I am really passionate about body positivity- I wrote my master’s thesis about eating disorders and I facilitate body image presentations to youth. But we are all complicit in the oppressive system that perpetuates these cultural biases. That’s why it’s so important to critically examine them and where they came from. In particular I find myself having to consciously unpack the myth that health = morality, and that we can tell a person’s health by what they look like. Even though I KNOW the data that disputes this idea, it is such a pervasive and damning idea in our society. Story telling is so important because it helps us to get out of our own bias and perspective and learn someone else’s. Often your own worldview will shift and expand.

On rape jokes and why they aren’t funny (because it apparently isn’t obvious?)

Let me preface this by giving you all a little background. A few summers ago, comedian Daniel Tosh told a rape joke in the middle of a comedy set, a woman in the audience yelled out that rape jokes aren’t funny, and Tosh retorted that “wouldn’t it be funny if like 5 guys just raped her right now?” (BECAUSE GANG RAPE HAHAHA) Needless to say, the woman walked out of the show, mortified. West wrote a couple pieces about the incident for Jezebel, received national attention, and went on to discuss it on a couple TV news shows. Male comics from both sides of the issue rushed to add their own commentary. West received an inconceivable amount of online vitriol from almost exclusively men, who sexualized her and threatened sexual violence. In the end, it was ironically this online bullying that opened up some people’s minds. The evidence that rape jokes clearly correlated with sexualized misogynistic harassment was right there. So here are a couple passages from my favorite chapters of “Shrill”:

“Comedy doesn’t just reflect the world, it shapes it… So why would we pretend, out of sheer convenience, that stand-up exists in a vacuum?…Art isn’t indiscriminate shit-flinging. It’s pure communication, crafted with intention and care…So shouldn’t we be welcome to examine that purpose, contextualize it within our culture at large, and critique what we find?”- pg. 165-166

“…what we say affects the world we live in, that words are both a reflection of and a catalyst for the way our society operates… When you talk about rape, you get to decide where you aim: Are you making fun of rapists? Or their victims? Are you making the world better? Or worse? It’s not about censorship, it’s not about obligation, it’s not about forcibly limiting anyone’s speech- it’s about choice. Who are you? Choose.”- pg. 171

MIC DROP. In those passages, West eloquently articulates some of the reasons why I am so interested in the media, as it is both a “reflection of and a catalyst for” our beliefs and realities. Analyzing media is so important because if not critiqued, we take it as fact, as the natural way of the world. One point that West makes can be broadened to the issue of free speech in general. Lately I feel like people are invoking the First Amendment as a sort of blanket permission slip to say anything they want, anytime they want. Uhhh no one is saying that people should go to jail for making rape jokes (I mean people who actually commit rape don’t usually even go to jail so…). What West is saying is that you have a CHOICE in what you convey to others. In a society where 1 in 5 women are raped, often blamed for their assault, and perpetrators rarely see prison, are you sure making a joke out of traumatic sexual violence is the choice that you want to make? Say what you want but know there will be consequences if you are belittling someone’s humanity. We will hold you accountable if you threaten the marginalized and incite violence with your words (COUGH RICHARD SPENCER COUGH).

Let’s say a comedian is making light of rape on stage and you’re a survivor in the audience (statistically there will be several). You feel more stigmatized after hearing this, possibly re-triggered or even experiencing PTSD. Furthermore, you see the rest of the audience laughing, and you probably feel some shame. And you wonder why people don’t come forward when they are victims of assault? In this culture? Rape jokes aren’t funny; they contribute to rape culture and victim blaming. You have a choice- who are you going to be?

Just a line that made me laugh so much I almost peed:

“Oh, you think you’re a badass for leaving the book jacket on ‘Half-Blood Prince?’ You think it makes you a ‘total nerd’ because you’re trying to get through ‘A Clash of Kings’ before the next season of ‘Game of Thrones’ comes out? Try reading Robert Jordan on the bus in 1997 with your bass clarinet case wedged between your legs while wearing a Microsoft Bob promotional T-shirt your dad brought home from work. Then try losing your virginity.”- pg. 42

LOL. OH and the Hulu show “Shrill” starring Aidy Bryant is loosely based off of this book/West’s life and she is really involved in the show. I haven’t watched it yet but will let you all know when I do! In the meantime, get your hands on this book, read it, and live laugh love learn.

Mental Health Facts and Stats

Monthly Project- October 2019

Why is it important to spread awareness about the prevalence of mental illness? Well for one, mental illness can feel extremely isolating. Since you usually can’t SEE mental illness from the outside, it’s hard to know just how many people are living with mental illness. You’ll read this over and over on my blog, but one of my goals in life is to do what I can to de-stigmatize mental illness. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and it took me YEARS to even realize what I was experiencing, even though looking back the signs were so clear. I am now on an anti-depressant, have been going to therapy for years, and try to prioritize my well-being. Of course my depression and anxiety are always going to be part of me, but they don’t define me. I try to be vocal and honest about having depression and anxiety, and mention often that I go to therapy and take meds. Since I began doing this, I have had countless friends, family members, and acquaintances open up about their own experiences with mental illness. Suddenly, we both feel less alone, our compassion for others has grown a little more, and we see more hope on the horizon.

So, let’s look at some facts and figures. I am going to share my sources at the end of this post, and I plan to create an Instagram story with resources at some point this month as well (@annelyzethat). Unless otherwise specified, these figures refer to US residents:

* 1 in 5 US adults experience mental illness each year (about 46 million people).

* 1 in 6 youth (ages 6-17) experience a mental health disorder each year.

* Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people ages 10-34.

* Anxiety disorders are the most commonly diagnosed, followed by depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder.

* Racial/ethnic minorities often bear a high burden of disability resulting from mental disorders. Black and Latino prevalence of depression tends to be more persistent than whites who experience depression.

* People who identify as being two or more races are most likely to report mental illness than any other race. Indigenous people tend to experience higher instances of PTSD and substance abuse than any other racial/ethnic group.

* 20% of people experiencing homelessness have a mental health condition, as well as 37% of incarcerated adults and 70% (!) of youth in juvenile detention centers.

* LGBT youth are 4x more likely to attempt suicide than straight youth, transgender adults are TWELVE times more likely to attempt suicide than the general population.

It is worth noting that mental illness is often underreported, especially among men and those in marginalized communities. Women, non-whites, LGBTQ folx, and those living in poverty are more likely to experience discrimination in the healthcare field, or lack access to care. Because of complex factors such as structural racism, sexism, and capitalism, marginalized people are more likely to live in environments that increase the chance of developing mental illness, and are also more likely to face discrimination, thus perpetuating the cycle. Understanding structural barriers and their effect on individuals will help us advocate for better access to care. If you are feeling the weight of a mental health condition, I see you and I am here for you. Sending love!

Sources:

National Alliance on Mental Illness- http://www.nami.org

Mental Health America- http://www.mhanational.org

National Institute of Mental Health- http://www.nimh.nih.gov

You are not alone. If you or someone you know needs help, please call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, available 24/7: 1-800-273-8255.