Spoiler Alert- I loved it

I received “Shrill” for Christmas 2016, the year this memoir was published. I knew I would love it, but so little time and so many books, right? I just read it a week ago, and I OBVIOUSLY did love it. I have been a fan of Lindy West’s for several years, since she was writing at “Jezebel.” (To be honest, I stopped reading it regularly after she and a couple other writers left.) West is my favorite kind of feminist writer, reminding me of the likes of Roxane Gay and Jessica Valenti. She is able to write about serious topics of inequality with humor, a take no shit attitude, and yet conveys warmth and tenderness.

As a fat feminist who writes openly about abortion, fatphobia, rape jokes, and other WILDLY POPULAR topics, West has had no shortage of online trolls. In “Shrill,” West writes about all of the above topics, as well as her experiences with trolls. If you didn’t think misogyny ran rampant in online comments before (I envy you?), you definitely will think again after reading this book. So I’m not going to do a classic book review or analysis here. My analysis is: it’s good, you’ll learn, you’ll laugh a lot and possibly cry a little, please read it. Instead, I am going to share a few of my favorite passages, and expand on those a little.

On fatness and fatphobia:

“I wasn’t unnatural after all; the cultural attitude that taught me so was the real abomination. My body, I realized, was an opportunity. It was political. It moved the world just by existing. What a gift.”- pg. 79

“You can’t fix a problem by targeting its victims…The only answer is to decide we’re worth helping.”- pg. 148

I definitely found myself questioning some of my own internalized biases against fat bodies while reading West’s experiences with fatphobia. As someone who has always had thin privilege, I can’t begin to know what it’s like to be constantly stigmatized and judged so openly. I am really passionate about body positivity- I wrote my master’s thesis about eating disorders and I facilitate body image presentations to youth. But we are all complicit in the oppressive system that perpetuates these cultural biases. That’s why it’s so important to critically examine them and where they came from. In particular I find myself having to consciously unpack the myth that health = morality, and that we can tell a person’s health by what they look like. Even though I KNOW the data that disputes this idea, it is such a pervasive and damning idea in our society. Story telling is so important because it helps us to get out of our own bias and perspective and learn someone else’s. Often your own worldview will shift and expand.

On rape jokes and why they aren’t funny (because it apparently isn’t obvious?)

Let me preface this by giving you all a little background. A few summers ago, comedian Daniel Tosh told a rape joke in the middle of a comedy set, a woman in the audience yelled out that rape jokes aren’t funny, and Tosh retorted that “wouldn’t it be funny if like 5 guys just raped her right now?” (BECAUSE GANG RAPE HAHAHA) Needless to say, the woman walked out of the show, mortified. West wrote a couple pieces about the incident for Jezebel, received national attention, and went on to discuss it on a couple TV news shows. Male comics from both sides of the issue rushed to add their own commentary. West received an inconceivable amount of online vitriol from almost exclusively men, who sexualized her and threatened sexual violence. In the end, it was ironically this online bullying that opened up some people’s minds. The evidence that rape jokes clearly correlated with sexualized misogynistic harassment was right there. So here are a couple passages from my favorite chapters of “Shrill”:

“Comedy doesn’t just reflect the world, it shapes it… So why would we pretend, out of sheer convenience, that stand-up exists in a vacuum?…Art isn’t indiscriminate shit-flinging. It’s pure communication, crafted with intention and care…So shouldn’t we be welcome to examine that purpose, contextualize it within our culture at large, and critique what we find?”- pg. 165-166

“…what we say affects the world we live in, that words are both a reflection of and a catalyst for the way our society operates… When you talk about rape, you get to decide where you aim: Are you making fun of rapists? Or their victims? Are you making the world better? Or worse? It’s not about censorship, it’s not about obligation, it’s not about forcibly limiting anyone’s speech- it’s about choice. Who are you? Choose.”- pg. 171

MIC DROP. In those passages, West eloquently articulates some of the reasons why I am so interested in the media, as it is both a “reflection of and a catalyst for” our beliefs and realities. Analyzing media is so important because if not critiqued, we take it as fact, as the natural way of the world. One point that West makes can be broadened to the issue of free speech in general. Lately I feel like people are invoking the First Amendment as a sort of blanket permission slip to say anything they want, anytime they want. Uhhh no one is saying that people should go to jail for making rape jokes (I mean people who actually commit rape don’t usually even go to jail so…). What West is saying is that you have a CHOICE in what you convey to others. In a society where 1 in 5 women are raped, often blamed for their assault, and perpetrators rarely see prison, are you sure making a joke out of traumatic sexual violence is the choice that you want to make? Say what you want but know there will be consequences if you are belittling someone’s humanity. We will hold you accountable if you threaten the marginalized and incite violence with your words (COUGH RICHARD SPENCER COUGH).

Let’s say a comedian is making light of rape on stage and you’re a survivor in the audience (statistically there will be several). You feel more stigmatized after hearing this, possibly re-triggered or even experiencing PTSD. Furthermore, you see the rest of the audience laughing, and you probably feel some shame. And you wonder why people don’t come forward when they are victims of assault? In this culture? Rape jokes aren’t funny; they contribute to rape culture and victim blaming. You have a choice- who are you going to be?

Just a line that made me laugh so much I almost peed:

“Oh, you think you’re a badass for leaving the book jacket on ‘Half-Blood Prince?’ You think it makes you a ‘total nerd’ because you’re trying to get through ‘A Clash of Kings’ before the next season of ‘Game of Thrones’ comes out? Try reading Robert Jordan on the bus in 1997 with your bass clarinet case wedged between your legs while wearing a Microsoft Bob promotional T-shirt your dad brought home from work. Then try losing your virginity.”- pg. 42

LOL. OH and the Hulu show “Shrill” starring Aidy Bryant is loosely based off of this book/West’s life and she is really involved in the show. I haven’t watched it yet but will let you all know when I do! In the meantime, get your hands on this book, read it, and live laugh love learn.